Divorce is on the rise globally and it is having an impact on the children involved. It’s the new normal with kids being raised by single parents, blended families or having their time split between two households.
So how do we explain divorce to kids? Is there a way to validate their feelings and support them through this drastic change?
I think there is. When we talk with honesty, compassion and allow kids to express all emotions involved, it will help ease this transition. We know that talking isn’t the only way kids learn, we need to use other modalities such as play, creative arts and books.
I am ecstatic to share an amazing resource by a good friend, Anastasia Higginbotham, the author of Divorce is The Worst.
Anastasia and her Creation
I made this book because it’s the one I want to read on the subject of divorcing or separating parents.
My parents divorced when I was 14 and said it was for the best. They told me: “Don’t let this affect you.” I saw them struggling with a choice that was obviously painful for them and though it broke my heart when my dad moved out, I did try to not let it affect me. This ensured that the heartbreak would follow me right into adulthood.
You can’t get over something you never went through in the first place. As grown-ups, we don’t want kids to be hurt by our choices. We’re reluctant to admit that our broken vows and failures cause them pain. But when parents’ lives unravel – for any reason (divorce, family illness or death, financial stress) – it affects the kids, even if no one’s throwing dishes across the room or weeping on the couch all day long. Though this may also be happening.
Other divorce books try to make kids feel better about the divorce. Mine supports kids to find out how they feel at all. The truth of their experience is the only thing that matters.
Purchase through the Feminist Press or through your local bookstore.
About the Author
Anastasia Higginbotham has worked in New York City for 20 years as a speechwriter for social justice organizations. Her essays have appeared in Ms., Bitch, Glamour, The Sun, The Women’s Review of Books, Women’s Media Center, and in various anthologies, including Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape. She is a 2015 Hedgebrook Fellow. Follow Anastasia on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
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