I recently posted a picture on my Instagram account of my two boys on an afternoon walk. This is something that they look forward to everyday, after my toddler wakes from his nap. Here is the photo and the exact caption:
I really didn’t think anything of it, but somebody else did. They responded with a comment of #ParentingFail.
Letting my kids pick up a stick and pretend it was a gun?
Now, let me be honest, there were no squirrels, people, trains or cars that were harmed from that piece of wood aimed at them. Instead my kids giggled and laughed as they ran up and down the green belt of grass. They chased birds, hid behind bushes and even found a rock that looked like a tooth. My five-year old would shout out that he was a solider getting the bad guys. Did I mention that he was playing with his toy soldiers before the walk?
They were using their imagination, bonding together over their play and had control for a small portion of their day.
Kids are usually told what to do all day by an adult. So when they have the opportunity to have unstructured play they take full advantage, as they should. This is their time!
Basic child development states that children learn through play. This is how they discover their world, build social skills, process experiences and discover who they. They also build self-confidence, problem solve, resolve inner-conflict and express their thoughts and feelings. It is all done through play.
I’m disappointed to see how much we are changing our children’s lives by limiting their play or taking control of it.
As a kid, I went outside and played with my neighborhood friends. We had so much more freedom in the way we played. There were endless games, make-believe themes (that included cops and robbers), wadding through water drains to go craydad hunting and so much more.
We didn’t have “playdates” and we didn’t have our parents looking over our shoulder all the time. Our curriculums in school were based on play and not the common core. Things have drastically changed and I am now more concerned of what the future will be like for our kids with the theories of play in child development being limited.
Maybe there is a fear that if we let our kids pretend to play with guns (I mean sticks), that they will grow up to be criminals?
I don’t buy it.
Kids need to explore and play freely. The themes on power, control, good vs. evil are normal and part of a child’s development.
I think we should relax a little bit and let our kids enjoy their lives. We can protect them from the real bad guys and shield them from the truly awful things that happen in this world for a limited time. They will eventually be of age to learn of the harsh reality of our world. Hopefully we would have done our jobs as parents and community members to teach kids to trust us, communicate and express themselves.
If this was my parenting fail, then I will take it. I think that I am doing a pretty good job at raising my kids.
Here are some other great articles to read: