Support for Families Going Through Divorce During a Pandemic

Guest Blogger, Brooke Chaplan

The current COVID-19 pandemic has affected many aspects of daily living around the world. In the U.S., families are dealing with conflict and tensions as they struggle to adjust to the new normal impacting jobs, healthcare, and education. For many couples, deep-rooted issues are surfacing, causing them to reevaluate their relationship. Some are choosing to divorce, and their families need professional support during this difficult time. Here are some options that could help.

Legal Assistance

Couples who are ready to end their marriage will need to deal with several issues, including their home, children, income, bills, and possessions among other things. Many spouses need the objective guidance of a family law attorney to help them sort out their differences and find a reasonable resolution. A legal separation lawyer can provide objective guidelines for dividing the household and dissolving marital bonds while respecting the needs of both spouses.

Family Counseling

Couples and their children, if any, may benefit from participating in family counseling either individually or as a group. This can help each member come to terms with the divorce and the beginning of a new life that will change relationships and possibly locations. A family counselor can work with each person and the family as a whole to heal emotional wounds and support new life goals and directions. Concerns about family pets, school, community activities, and other questions can be addressed with the assistance of a licensed counselor.

Personal Therapy

If one or more members of the family are dealing with issues like substance abuse, financial insolvency, or problem behavior, individual therapy may be helpful in supporting that person in coming to terms with aspects of his or her actions or interactions that will facilitate recovery and improvement. While the divorce will likely proceed, family members’ problems can be addressed for a healthier and successful future.

Spiritual Support

Membership in a church, synagogue, mosque, or another congregation of religious worship can be very comforting during times of extreme change and potential loss. Family members who do not attend worship services may want to visit a local congregation to explore spiritual beliefs that can help to support them in going through a relationship breakup and family reorganization. Some people prefer yoga or meditation, while others find peace and solace in nature.

These professional organizations can become pillars of support during a family breakup. While divorce is never easy, it may become more bearable with the help of entities like the above.

Author Bio

Brooke Chaplan is a freelance writer and blogger. She lives and works out of her home in Los Lunas, New Mexico. She loves the outdoors and spends most of her time hiking, biking, and gardening. For more information, contact Brooke via Facebook at facebook.com/brooke.chaplan or Twitter @BrookeChaplan

Related Articles

When Your Parents Divorce: A Kid-to-Kid Guide to Dealing with Divorce

Divorce is the Worst 

Bye Bye Sunshine, Hello Freedom

pexels-photo-1

Guest Blogger, Dayton Uttinger

Even though autumn technically started weeks ago, it’s only now getting cold enough for the hordes of scarves and pumpkin spice lattes that have appeared everywhere. Holiday decor has appeared in stores. Your drive to work or morning workout is spent in a teeth-chattering blackness. Kids have fallen into their school routine a little more. The weather is deteriorating, and we’ll have to wait a whole three seasons before we can tan on the beach again. But those are small prices to pay for the beauty of autumn, and I don’t just mean the multicolored foliage. The real beauty of autumn can only be appreciated by parents.

Structure

Alright, kids are certainly not happy that autumn is here. They’re still mourning summer vacation, which is understandable. Summer vacations are the best times to be a kid.   As long as you get them outside, summer can mean plenty of Vitamin D and healthy activities like, hiking, boating, or summer sports. Unfortunately, that’s usually not the case. Kids these days are spending a majority of their time inside staring at a screen or generally making a mess. We like to picture smiling family vacations when we think of summer, but that’s rarely a reality. Instead, we get no smiles, no vacation, or both.

Summer usually means you have to design activities for your kid, or pay through the nose for them. You’re in charge of giving them direction. Although there are ways to keep kids productive during summer break, school includes a pre-set schedule. There isn’t an option of sleeping in; your kids have to be at school when the bell rings. They have to do homework. They have to learn and be productive. You’re not in charge of giving them direction all the time, and that can be liberating.

Money

However, the end of summer isn’t just mentally freeing, it’s fiscally freeing too. Many parents just can’t afford summer. With child care, additional food for snacking and their friends, and various summer activities, the season can be a real strain on your wallet. Additionally, the beginning of school is still in summer, and all the clothes, school supplies, and administrative fees are too expensive, especially as your kids get older.

But all that’s over for now! You’ve got practically the whole school year before you have to worry about silly summer budgets! Now is a chance to play catch up, as much as there ever is one. Raising a kid means your bank account is constantly depleting, but the end of summer means you have a rare window to recuperate. Until you have to start budgeting for Christmas, that is.

Holidays

I enjoy St. Patrick’s Day or the Fourth of July as much as anyone else, but all the really good holidays are packed together at the end of the year. Halloween means lots of cute, excited kids in costumes and nabbing a couple of pieces of candy. They’ll want to trick or treat with their friends, but you should still chaperone, both to spend time with them and for safety reasons. Thanksgiving and Christmas are both money vacuums, but your kids are all yours on those days. These holidays represent crucial family time that you won’t always have; they might move or split holiday time with their spouse’s family. That makes the time that you have now all the more meaningful. Eventually, they won’t wake you up on Christmas morning. Which is a blessing in some ways, and a curse in others.

Just like summer. We’ll all think longingly of beautiful sunny days during blizzards, but remember summer has plenty of rainy days too. Especially if you’re a parent. You’ll face those draining three months again, but, for now, just enjoy the fact that it’s over.

Parent’s Bittersweet Day

bittersweet3

Today was bittersweet as I was registering my second (and last) for nursery school.

It feels like since the moment he was born time is going by at super sonic speed. I can’t stop how quickly both my kids are growing up and it really saddens me.

With my first, Gavin, things were so new and unfamiliar to us, we were just trying to survive as parents. I remember clearly how slow time seemed to pass when he was just an infant in chronic pain from reflux and colic. I hated it when people would say, “And this too shall pass.” Umm, it wasn’t passing and I was barely able to cope through new motherhood of sleep deprivation, separation from family and adapting to my new role as a feeding, nurturing, and loving mom. It was hard, but they were right, the difficult time did pass.

After going through a devastating year of three miscarriages, I was over the moon, when I knew that Blake would be my rainbow baby. I tried to soak up every second of him, as I knew that he would be my last child.

bittersweet 1

All the infant stages were a bit different as we were on Gavin’s schedule. Blake was the little brother getting dragged along to all of Gavin’s activities, play dates and school functions. He never complained, in fact I think he loved it.

In the past 2 1/2 years they have formed an unbelievable bond. I love watching them play, fight and copy one another. They are best friends.

bittersweet2

Today is bittersweet, as I know my role as a stay at home parent will soon change. Next fall will be a big year as I won’t have a baby or toddler by my side all day. I hope that Child Life Mommy will launch into a private practice and I can fill my day providing child life services, but still being a full-time parent.

Related Articles

From Child Life Specialist to Stay at Home Mom

A Day To Celebrate

Time is Flying By