How to Help a Child Cope with Divorce

Guest Blogger, Brooke Chaplan

Divorce is a situation that occurs in many households, and if you and your spouse have decided to separate, you should know that you are not alone. Resources certainly exist to help you cope with this new experience, and some of those resources can also help your children. Here are just some of the ways you can help a child cope with his or her parents’ divorce.

Have a Plan

When you first tell your children about the divorce, you likely do not have a detailed plan for exactly how the situation is going to play out. Still though, you can have at least the start of a plan. For example, maybe you have already decided that the children will spend the school weeks with one parent and weekends with the other, or perhaps you can set a schedule for holidays due to religious beliefs that are different from your partner’s. Some of the concerns that arise with divorce have to do with the unknown, and offering children some stable answers can help.

Seek Professional Guidance

You might think that you and your spouse will work through all of the details independently and that you don’t need to seek professional help. However, since you are navigating a new situation, you likely do not realize all of the obstacles that could come in the way. Instead of trying to manage these challenges independently, work with a divorce attorney. This person can help you to make decisions that benefit both your family members and yourself. Without professional guidance, more stress can manifest for you, your partner and your children.

Maintain Routines

If you’ve ever been on a long vacation from work, you may have found that you were craving to get back into a routine at the end of that break. Children can thrive on routines as well. Too many big changes at once can cause additional irritation and stress for your kids. Work to keep them in their regular activities, to bring them to social events with their friends and to prepare meals on a schedule. As you do this, make sure that your children know that they can come to you with any questions they have. Let them take a break if they need to in order to cope, but have the routine in place for when they come back to it.

Do Something Special

In the midst of the divorce, new living arrangements and overall adjustments for everyone, planning any other sort of activity might seem ludicrous. However, think about several months from now when you will likely have at least found a new normal for yourself. Put a special date in the calendar that your kids can look forward to. Depending upon time, budgetary concerns and other factors, you can make this outing as large or as small as necessary and desired.

Children are certainly affected by divorce to varying degrees. Committing to and implementing some strategies can help to make the situation as positive as possible for your kids.

Author Bio

Brooke Chaplan is a freelance writer and blogger. She lives and works out of her home in Los Lunas, New Mexico. She loves the outdoors and spends most of her time hiking, biking, and gardening. For more information, contact Brooke via Facebook at facebook.com/brooke.chaplan or Twitter @BrookeChaplan

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When Your Parents Divorce: A Kid-to-Kid Guide to Dealing with Divorce

Divorce is the Worst 

 

 

When Your Parents Divorce A kid-to-kid guide to dealing with divorce

Guest Blogger, Kimberly King 

Divorce can be a traumatic experience for children, but parents can do a lot to help ease stress and uncertainty. When Your Parents Divorce is a useful tool that parents can use to help children with questions and concerns that arise during this challenging and stressful time. Told from a child’s perspective, using clear and kid-friendly language, When Your Parents Divorce will help you and your children adjust to divorce in a positive, cooperative, and supportive way. The book aims to ease discord and confusion in the family and prevent Parent Alienation. A must-read for parents and kids.

  • One of a kind, a unique book created for kids and shared in a kids voice. Told from a child’s perspective, based on a real-life kid story Full of real-life kid scenarios that your child encounter as they adjust to your divorce
  • Presented in kid language that provides comfort on a tough topic.
  • Bibliotherapy, helping kids talk about their feelings by using books, is an effective therapeutic way to help kids cope with difficult emotions

Using a simple, direct, comforting approach that doesn’t dumb down the issues involved, as well as an easy-to-use system to help kids engage in open conversations with parents. When Your Parents Divorce covers a variety of topics, including:

Clarification of the terms and definitions involved in separation and divorce.

  • Supportive talking points for parents and children
  • Helping kids realize each parent’s value and worth.
  • Teaches kids that they are not alone.
  • Kids learn to be aware and express their feelings.
  • Explains that divorce is never their fault.
  • The story encourages family collaboration and cooperation.
  • Identifies some everyday worries, problems, and issues kids may experience as they adjust to the new family situation.
  • Stresses the way families can get along in a positive way when they work together
About the Author: 

Kimberly King left her traditional job as a kindergarten teacher to write books for children on difficult and often emotional topics. Kimberly King is a child-development professional, certified early-childhood educator, and darkness2light.org sexual abuse prevention Stewards of Children facilitator. She holds a Bachelor of Science degree in early childhood development and family studies from the University of Maine and a Master of Science degree in early childhood education. She is the author of, I Said No!, the best-selling children’s book about sexual-abuse prevention. King is the author of three kid-to-kid guides:

King lives with her family in Connecticut and is available for media trainings, interviews, school visits, and author signings.